Game Review for War of Ages...

[Sgt SoRd]

Okay so I played for two weeks and here we have a review I wrote for it.

Game Review Here

Don't be too angry! And go ahead and delete my account.. You still have 26 more

[neobaron]

What the douche?

2 Weeks and you tear it down?

---

... This and RWL draw a more intellectual crowd who do not need pretty pictures to be satisfied...

[Sgt SoRd]

You want an intelectual crowd? Play this Kingdom of Loathing! It's got no graphics and I absolutely LOVE it! FAF brings nothing new to the table. Maybe if content was added more regularily...

[neobaron]

Content is in the process of being added, slick.

How long have you been active on the forums?

[Slasher]

Pretty crappy review if you ask me... At least play the game for longer so you atcually KNOW what it's like, and also it's a PROMISANCE GAME, they don't NEED graphics and pictures etc

[Urran Voh]

I kindly ask you to re-write your review before I smite you.


WTF?!

The Kingdom of Loathing was once a pleasant place, where all the citizens loathed one another equally and nobody caused too much trouble. Under the gentle rule of King Ralph XI, peace had prevailed for as long as anybody could remember.
One fateful Porktober morning, a Sorceress came to the Kingdom. A Naughty Sorceress. A Naughty Sorceress who was clearly up to no good, and even more clearly up to plenty of bad. King Ralph sought to expel the Naughty Sorceress from his Kingdom, but she imprismed him in a black crystalline shard of curdled magic. It was very dramatic.

Monsters emerged from their hidey-holes to terrorize the citizens of Loathing, and larger monsters emerged from larger hidey-holes to terrorize those monsters, all under the control of the Naughty Sorceress.

In the King's absence, the Council of Loathing convened to attempt to impose order on the Kingdom. Their success was limited, however, to imposing their will on adventurers who came to the Kingdom seeking fame, fortune, or quality products at reasonable prices. And as you've probably guessed by now, one of those adventurers is you!

A "Naughty Sorceress"? And races that include a disco bandit? And you are intellectual?

[Sgt SoRd]

I kindly ask you to re-write your review before I smite you.

I'll tell you what. If you write a review on FaF that I think is suitable for the viewers of my website to see, I will replace the review I made with whatever you make. Stick to the Graphics, Community, Action, etc.

And, please, smite my account. It should be banned for inactivity any second now.

[The Beatles]

Oh, who cares about your silly little review site. What's its pagerank? Oh, right, zero.

As for KoL, looks interesting, but it's obvious that our target audiences don't overlap. You're a comedy RPG, we're a strategy game.

Just kindly take your review off, I won't bother to write one for you.

[windhound]

justa sec. posted before I was done...

edit: done

please allow me to tear apart the review

Latest News: Review: Online: FAF
Submitted by admin on Sat, 2006-02-18 09:11.

URL: http://faf.staronesw.com/
Rating: 1.5 out of 5

Our Inside Analasis:

Graphics: There are none. I think that they should have had ITLEAST stick figure picture drawings like KoL does .

der. this is a promi. promis do not have graphics
graphics slow loading times, and stick figures would degrade, not add.

Gameplay: Gameplay was extremely weak. What happens is you get 3 turns every 15 minutes. So by the end of the day (I don't know who the heck would play this game once every day) you have 250+ turns. And all you do is click "Spend Turns" randomly and get money. Sometimes you might just have a few extra workers join your war band *YIPEE*!

There are THOUSANDS of games that you spend a few min on every day, then are done. my roomate plays utopia, which suggusts you log in once a day, two if you feel you need to.
You do Not Randomly spend turns
you obviously never got the point of the game
scout for land, loot for cash, forage for food, heal for heath
gain troops. use them to attack. there are many many things you need to do to be a success in the game

Community: For n00bs, a person named Ruddertail (one of the admins) helps you out to make sure your feeling alright. Which is nice and everything. But then after that there is no community at all! Unless you join a clan which has their own mini-forums. And someone I know who plays the game showed me their clan forums and it was very weak.

yes, ruddertail does a good job
but you havnt been on the forums very long
we are a community, albet a loose one
if you do not take the time to get to know us then dont judge us
the clan mini-forums are designed for coordinated stratagies and attacks, the main forums are made for building 'community' in which we have a total of 45453 posts

Learning Curve: I had to go through a lot of newbish reading before learning how to do a lot of stuff. This was also very weak.

SKIM
its designed for people who havnt played before
if you're used to these types of games, then you dont need to read the whole guide
it is a very good guide, setup so that you can find what you need if you have half a brain

Action: You can attack any player. But they must be close statistically or else you lose extremely badly, or some of your army leaves. But the action in this game was not the worst aspect of the whole entire game. Although, it was, again, just a click of a button and the results show.

you should attack only people within your range
if you're hitting too high then you're stupid, and will more than likely fail, or piss off somone much more powerful than you
too low and you're bottom feeding
attack the people at your level

Overrall: A game NOT recommended by us.

Thanks for reading,
Sarge!

not really welcome, it wasnt a terribly good read

[neobaron]

<3 <3 <3 Windy =-)

[Devari]

Kingdom of Loathing is not his game. I played it once, it was kinda fun, but got old fast. For me, at least.

Who really cares about this review, anyway? Two things are obvious:
a) His site is nothing. His poll has all of two votes in it. It's more or less another kid who wants to have a roxxor review site. omgwtfloltehbbqrofl1
He's just trolling for a reaction. He comes on to the forum and posts this "review". No prior discontent, no prior suggestions, just coming on here to piss us off. Not sure why, but he did it regardless.

Now, I'll take the time to respond to the "review":

Graphics: There are none. I think that they should have had ITLEAST stick figure picture drawings like KoL does .

I'm not sure what ITLEAST means, eh? Now, the point about graphics - well, "my friend", we're a strategy game. Further, we're a text-based strategy game. In a text-based strategy game, there is no need for large amounts of graphics. Heard of Kings of Chaos? That's the kind of model we're looking at for graphics - very minimal. Now, if you have a problem with the layout, the design, or whatever, sure, let's see some constructive criticism. But, otherwise, we really don't give a hoot about the graphic component.

Gameplay: Gameplay was extremely weak. What happens is you get 3 turns every 15 minutes. So by the end of the day (I don't know who the heck would play this game once every day) you have 250+ turns. And all you do is click "Spend Turns" randomly and get money. Sometimes you might just have a few extra workers join your war band *YIPEE*!

A) You played the slow server, meant for people who play once every day or two.
There is a hell of a lot more than clicking "spend turns" randomly. I'm not even going to bother explaining things, since you obviously seem closeminded to it. Since it isn't KoL and all!

Community: For n00bs, a person named Ruddertail (one of the admins) helps you out to make sure your feeling alright. Which is nice and everything. But then after that there is no community at all! Unless you join a clan which has their own mini-forums. And someone I know who plays the game showed me their clan forums and it was very weak.

Wow! When I played Kingdom of Loathing there was NO community at all! Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I did NOT GO ON THE FORUMS?! But, wow, I expect everything to come to me!

Learning Curve: I had to go through a lot of newbish reading before learning how to do a lot of stuff. This was also very weak.

Really now? You don't have to. Maybe if you read every manual for every game you play/buy, yes. But I can tell you quite simply that, if you have a somewhat open mind about things, you can pick up a Promisance game quite quickly. Maybe I'm just rarely talented?

Action: You can attack any player. But they must be close statistically or else you lose extremely badly, or some of your army leaves. But the action in this game was not the worst aspect of the whole entire game. Although, it was, again, just a click of a button and the results show.

It's a turn based strategy game. It's more about building up your warband and maintaining sufficient logistical support. While attacking is, of course, a major part, the game involves much more than that. Of course it's a click of a button. This is a text-based strategy game, man! What do you expect, round by round RPG-style combat? Get real! Kings of Chaos, possibly more popular even than KoL (although, different genres, of course), is still just a "click of a button" attack. The majority of online strategy games are about just that - strategy. Not hitting a button repeatedly to beat up the Saucy Sorceress (or whoever she was) and cast magic/drink vodka.

[Urran Voh]

Funny how we're not a community, but we all defend our site with the utmost ferocity. :*laughs*:

[The Beatles]

I would have bumped your karma, but...

[neobaron]

You can bump mine instead =-)

[Kraken]

gaaahhh!!!!!!!!

whatta prick!

well, i went and posted a comment on his freakin little nothin site in our defense!
pah!