The Useless Phonetic Alphabet

[The Beatles]

Inspired by a short sketch I saw (on a show called Absolutely), this all started around 'G for Gnome'. The idea is to devise a spelling alphabet that, unlike the NATO one, is useless or misleading. Silent consonants or those that sound different than when spelled out would be best. Mediaeval/fantasy theme where possible (k knight rather than k knoll, etc.) This is how far I've got, let me know if you have ideas. I'll edit this post as we come up with more stuff.

a
b
c for choir / cede / centaur / cite (confusion with site)
d
e for eyrie
f
g for gnome
h for heir
i
(as in me?)
j
k for knight
l
m for mnemonic / ...
n
o for oust
p for psalm / phoenix
q for quay / quoits / quaff
r
s for sent (confusion with cent) / ...
t for tzar / thistle / thief / thatch / thrall
u for usurp
v
w for wrath / wretch
x for xylophone / xylem  ...
y for Yggdrasil / ...
z for Zeno / ...

I don't know what can be done with vowels, apart from perhaps amusing words ("u for unguent"?)...

[edit] Dropped "herb". Thanks Slasher.

[Slasher]

h for herb doesn't really work in England, we say the h, that's like putting 'ello instead of hello

[athenax]

Those are silent letters. I don't know why there should be one.