quote by fleet on another forum (and I know your here, just not showing yourself... and I have a few guess too...)
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the owner's card.
The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet the lying s.o.b. told you I was speeding, too!-Funnyjunk
Dirch is a zombie, cerberus is a zombie dog, and zowie is an alive kid, just pointing that out...
*tries unsuccessfully to bring the car to move...* Dirch: Not good... The hearse is dead... Zowie: How appropriate...
Dirch: There are ALWAYS, zombies outside. They can smell the living, it drives them mad with a ceaseless all-consuming hunger... *there is a short pause as Dirch stares at Zowie, and Cerberus does a slight growl behind Zowie...* Zowie: Well that's comforting...
Niftis (another zombie): I prefer to think of it not as a curse, but a gift. Not many people get a 2nd chance you know... Dirch: Lucky for them... - Xombie Chapter 5 Reel 2
From a computer game that my computer can't get to work right anymore :/
Skye: So this is the sky pirate camp huh? I expected maybe BURIED treasure?
Item description of a Health Potion: Just take one and call me in the morning!
Item description of Mana Potion: Makes you all magicky and junk...
*after being shot through a cannon "purposefully" across the chasm* *Draak and Skye land, rolling on the ground til they stop...* Both: Oof, eee, ow... Skye: Air cannonball, where you absolutely, positively have to break every bone in your body... *Draak clasps his head all dizzy* Draak: I got... one that didn't break... *Skye's staff finally lands, metal head goes headfirst onto Draaks head* *puts his index finger up* ...Nevermind! *faints*
*Skye reads sign* Skye: "One glance upon the great and evil Necroth, and your eyes shall burn with the fury of a black cloud before the morning sun..." huh, not much of a looker I see...
*after bridge they crossed breaks down behind them* Skye: They say, "you shouldn't burn your bridges..." Draak: "They" also say not to mess with dark sorcerers named Necroth who are too hideous to gaze upon, but what do "they" know?
*On first seeing the cannon* Hey look! It's one of those super shooty, throwy things... Skye: You mean a cannon... Draak: Or one of those...
Skye: I'm about to do one of the most stupidest things ever concieved. *jumps into the cannon... then awkward silence* Draak: Mission Accomplished! Hey, you know what would be even stupider!? Skye: Can you say 5, 4, 3 - 2 - 1, Houston, we have a problem! *jumps back out of the cannon* Hey, there's no fuse on! Oh shucks! Now we can't blast ourselves into oblivion...
*After putting the fuse on* Skye: ........................I refuse to comment...
*After lighting the fuse, and if you don't get in the cannon in time* *cannon shoots, and fuse disappears* Draak: ....Well I say that qualifies as a "blown oppurtunity" Skye: ...Eeeyup!
*looks at the empty fuse hole on the cannon* Skye: I see a hole... *Draak interupts*
Draak: A "whole" bunch of reasons we should leave it well enough alone...
Item description of toy monster: Looks like my Aunt Edna... - all from Darkened Skye
What color are your eyes?
What are these guess too ?What is it?
"Are you still located in Undefined"? Driver he or she don't have one?
Do you still have it suspended when he or she got his or her 5th DUI ?What do you look like?
I like the way you talk.
You had better contact the authorities. And stolen is Officer The car.
Try saying that with more or less context.
Huh.
Where is to think of it he or she think he or she saw the owner's card in the glove box when he or she was putting his or her gun in there ?When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
"Are you still located in Undefined"? Driver Yes sir?
the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk was killed?Is that your final answer?
What do you do in your spare time?
My brain contains 33748 categories, but not one that matches your last input.
When was this exactly?Did you know that you can download your own chat robot and create your own robot personality?
Oh there. How did you feel about that?I think Captain Who's car is a lot of things.
Do you still name this planet [img]httpcyborg2dot comimagesemoticonsspam?
Are we still talking about Driver It's his or hers officer?
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
"it" being driver owned the car?"it" being driver owned the car?"Are you still located in Undefined"? Yes? OK let's stop it now. Are you a man or a woman?
"it" being Captain Would you mind opening your trunk?How do you usually introduce yourself?
I think Trunk is a lot of things.
"it" being Trunk?What happened to it?
When was this exactly?When is -Funnyjunk
Dirch not a zombie cerberus is a zombie dog and zowie is an alive kid just pointing that out?
Quite honestly, I wouldn't worry myself about that.
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Are they exactly the same?
I lost my train of thought.
All of them?What is your real name?
I think *there is more than that.
What are you wearing?
I've been waiting for you.
Tell me a story.
Are you a student?
Yup. Is it the only one?
That is interesting:
Undefined said Undefined expected maybe BURIED treasure.
Are you a student?
Is that from Undefined?
How old are you?
Are we still talking about *after being shot through a cannon purposefully across the chasm* *Draak and Skye land rolling on the ground til they stop?
Let us change the subject.
That is a very original thought.
How much would you pay for it?Does "it" still refer to *Draak clasps his head all dizzy* Draak he or she got?
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me. I've been waiting for you.
Me either. What were we talking about again?
All of them?Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
In the context of It's one of those super shooty throwy things, I don't understand "Skye You mean a cannon. "
Do not ask me any more questions please.
What do you have that is Undefined?
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
How do you usually introduce yourself?
You've got my full attention. That is a hypothetical question. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Are you a student?
Yeah.
A deeper algorithm is needed to respond to that correctly.
Why now? Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Are you a student?
That's good information:
Undefined said Undefined refuse to comment.
Do you still refuse to comment?
Well that's okay.
Can you tell me any gossip?
That is a very original thought.
That input matched my default category.
"Are you still located in Undefined"? *Draak interupts* Draak A whole bunch of reasons we should leave it well enough alone?
Can you speak any foreign languages?
How did you hear about Philip?
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